


light carries on

by LiveLaughLovex



Series: dare to dance [8]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Post-Episode: S10e07 Ka 'i'o (DNA)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 00:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21365176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex
Summary: It wasn't often Kono Kalakaua had no idea what to say to someone she considered a close friend. In this instance, though, every possible word she could've uttered left her mind the very second she sat down.(Post s10e07, "DNA." After Steve returns home from D.C., Kono finds him.)
Relationships: Kono Kalakaua & Steve McGarrett
Series: dare to dance [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1507634
Kudos: 20





	light carries on

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Sleeping at Last's "Saturn."

It wasn’t often that Kono Kalakaua had no idea what the hell she was meant to say. She’d grown up in a very loud family, which meant she’d learned very early on to say what she meant and say it clearly if she wanted it to matter. It was a philosophy that she’d carried with her throughout thirty-plus years of life. It wasn’t one that was going to help her out here, though, because she didn’t know what needed to be said. She had no idea what her friend needed to hear, not in this particular moment. So, instead, she drew in a deep breath and sank onto the sand next to him, wrapping her legs around her knees and staring out at the water.

“How’d you find me?” Steve questioned without glancing over at her. The pain and exhaustion in his tone was enough to make her eyes sting with unshed tears.

“Because nobody else is going to look here,” she replied quietly. “And you probably didn’t come here as a kid, so there’re fewer memories. Makes it a little less painful to be back, I’m guessing.” She drew in a deep breath, her eyes drifting shut for a moment as she inhaled the scent of saltwater. “Plus, I showed you this place once upon a time, remember? I know all about its therapeutic properties.”

“I didn’t think of that,” he admitted gruffly. “But you’re right. I came here because I want to be alone.”

“I know,” she said softly. “But you don’t need to be. Not after everything that’s happened.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve lost my mother, Kono,” he reminded her tightly, still refusing to meet her gaze. “Might be the first time I’ve lost her permanently, but she walked out of my life almost three decades ago. She’d just recently walked back in, and I… I learned a long time ago how to cope with her being gone.”

“I know,” she murmured. “But I also know what it’s like to have your world turned upside down without any warning. And I – I know it’s not the same thing, not by a long shot, but… in a way, I know what it’s like to lose a mother. So, you can scream, and you can yell, and you can refuse to even look at me. I did the same things to my friends after my mom’s aneurysm. None of it’s going to make me walk away.”

He exhaled slowly, finally turning to meet her gaze. “I’m angry at her,” he admitted quietly, ashamedly, his eyes glassy with grief. “And I know I shouldn’t be. Not only because she died right in front of me, but because she died… she died trying to take care of us. She spent her entire life trying to take care of us.”

“Of course she did. You were her kids,” Kono said gently. “She might not have always been the best at showing it, Steve, but she loved you, and she loved your sister. I saw it every time she was around you.”

“The things I said to her that day, the day she died,” he paused, shaking his head, “I was terrible to her. I accused her of… of things I knew, deep down, she’d never do, and it was all because I was just – I was so _angry_ at her. And now, I – I can’t take any of it back.”

“Steve,” she murmured, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently. She smiled sadly when he glanced away from the water to meet her gaze. “You’ve always said you knew her so well because she was your mom. You were her son. She knew, too. She knew you were angry, and she knew – she knew you loved her.”

“Yeah? How’re you so sure?” he asked humorlessly.

“Because I know you, too,” she replied strongly. “You’re my family. I love you. And everyone who loves you knows how much you love your family, and how many sins you’d forgive them.” She squeezed his fingers once more. “She was your _mom_. She knew.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I know I am,” she responded confidently. “And I know you want to be alone right now, and I’ll let you be, I promise. I mean, I’m still going to check in, but…” She trailed off. “I just want you to know, if you need anything while you’re taking time, you can call me. Day or night. Whether it’s an ear or a beer or a friend to hold the bag while you punch it, I’ll be there.” She looked over at him, waited until he met her gaze to speak. “I meant what I said earlier, Steve. You’re family.”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “You, too.”

It wasn’t all that needed to be said. But in that moment, it was what mattered most, and that was enough for the both of them.


End file.
